Flower power for your libido
One of the questions I get asked most often as a Bach flower practitioner (aside from, “you’re a what now?”) is, “Do you have anything for sex?”
The short answer, is – yes!
The longer answer is – yes! But not in the way you’re hoping.
Usually when people ask for a “sex flower” they’re looking for a magic bullet that will instantly make them want to have sex more often, or make them “better” in bed.
As is always the case with Bach flowers though, there is no “sex flower” anymore than there is a “happiness” flower. The system simply doesn’t offer a one flower fits all approach to emotional issues.
Finding the right flower to spice things up in the bedroom comes down to understanding why things aren’t happening there in the first place.
Are you bored with your partner?
Nervous about your performance?
Do you hate your body?
Obviously there are as many reasons for sexual disinterest as there are people. But, there are some very common reasons, like the ones I just mentioned, that probably apply to a large majority of people.
From my very scientific research via Twitter, Facebook and blogs I read, I’ve determined the top five reasons for lack of interest in sex, and have shared them below along with flower recommendations for each.
Bring back the magic
There comes a time in most long term relationships when the excitement that was once present at the beginning begins to fade. Jobs, kids, life gets in the way and things can seem a little boring; stale even. Sex with your partner no longer seems interesting, but somehow flirting with the cute guy at Starbucks makes you giddy as a schoolgirl (or boy). If you’re feeling like your relationship could use a little kickstart to move from “ho hum” to “woo hoo” grab Wild Rose to reignite that long lost spark.
Not tonight, I’ve got a headache (or a book to read, or a movie to watch, or Facebook to troll)
Does sex feel like an inconvenience in your life? Do you have a list a mile long of things you’d rather be doing? Does it just feel like one big bother? Then look no further than Water Violet to reignite an interest in connecting with your mate.
I also find Water Violet helpful for new moms who are navigating the “pure mama” versus “sex goddess” conundrum and feel somewhat inhibited about sex (add Olive if you’re exhausted and Crab Apple if you hate your post baby body).
I’m just too tired
If your libido has taken a hike because you’re exhausted, I’ve got two remedies for you.
The first is Olive, which can restore physical and mental energy when exhaustion has set in, particularly after a period of prolonged struggle or stress (think illness, becoming new parents, long term project at work).
If you’re not physically exhausted, but the mere thought of getting it on brings up feelings of weariness and exhaustion, try Hornbeam (aptly named, no?).
My thighs are too fat
This is an issue I see mostly in women, but I am sure men struggle with it too – body image. So many of us feel ugly while fully dressed. How the heck are we supposed to feel sexy when we’re all naked and sweaty? If a less than healthy image of your body is what’s keeping you from getting it on, then grab some Crab Apple and regain confidence in your bod, regardless of what shape or size it is.
This one is probably more for the men, but again, I am sure ladies are challenged by this too. If you’re feeling self conscious about sex because you’re afraid of your performance being less than award winning, then take Larch to help you remember that it’s not where you finish, but the journey along the way that really matters.
More than one of these issues might resonate for you, and that’s fine. Up to seven Bach flowers can be mixed in a bottle at a time, so choose all that apply. Then, mix yourself up a love potion, light some candles and get down to business!
As always, all 38 flowers can help with sexual issues in one way or another. It just comes down to why you’re not feeling that into sex. If your reason is not explained above and you need help identifying it, speak to a trusted friend or employ the help of a Bach flower practitioner.
A special word for victims of sexual abuse
Anyone who has suffered violence at the hands of someone else knows the powerful damage that is done to the mind, body and soul. If this has touched your life, begin your sexual healing journey with Star of Bethlehem. This flower helps to clear past trauma and make room for deep healing to occur.
In addition, if thinking about sex or being intimate with a partner brings about feelings of fear, add Mimulus. If you feel terror, add Rock Rose. For shame, add Pine. For resentment, add Willow. For anger or rage, add Holly.